I have my 12 thoughts

Lungs

Today was massively up and down. I felt so happy, and then tried to share it with someone who turned out to be the wrong person at that moment. It drives me crazy when you have less than cozy moments with people when you just had a fun and beautiful time with them two days before... maybe it's just because I grew up on Doctor Who, but it makes me want to look down every alley for the Tardis - 'cause surely that'd be the moment when I should have my turn with it.

It's clear enough what I want to do; that's never been a problem with me. Ironically, this is exactly what my Comrade is infamous for - having no idea what he wants. I heard him say on Wednesday, holding me, that he felt the way he wanted to feel, and that he hoped to stay with those emotions. That was the first time he'd said something in so comforted a tone in quite a while, and I was so glad to hear it. If someone makes you so happy and calm, or even just helps you get there, why would you ever want to give that up? Why would you question whether it was right to get that from them or not?

I should also mention that he is infamous for being incredibly kind. He is averted by the idea of expressly disliking someone. He is not fond of his boss - a man with what can only be described as polarizing ideals - and it rips at him every day. Since taking the job almost a year ago, he's looked for something to learn from this man, and has seen nothing other than money-managing tips and where to get a good cigar. Often, he's dying for a mentor - he's aching to learn and grow.

He's my best friend, and for obvious reasons, I've been thinking of him a bit lately. My friend Dan is a big fan of Fight Club (he's seen it at least 1,000 times), and it's been putting that line in my head - 'You met me at a very strange time in my life'. It might not be exactly a strange time ... but it was coming together, it's fraying a little, and I know it'll wind back up. Today was frustrating.